Three Moms That Bite

So I've been doing this mom-thing for a few years now. In doing so, I've had the chance to get to know other moms. For the most part they tend to be really cool women who are just trying to get through their lives without too much drama and with a sense of humor. But occasionally (thankfully, not very often), I come across moms who sort of...well...suck. They don't suck at parenting necessarily, in fact I'm pretty sure that they're great mothers when it comes to child rearing. No, that's not it. It's more about the way the interact with other moms that leads me to write this post.

The following is a (short) list of different types of mothers who I think could stand a little improvement.


1. The Child is the center of the Universe Mom

Simply put: No, they're not. I've known women (who incidentally were pretty darn interesting and fun to hang out with before they had kids) who gave birth and completely lost their minds. EVERYTHING is about the kids now. Their children dominate everything they read, talk about, eat and do. Here's the deal, if you completely give your life to your children you are likely to find that when they walk out the door and head off to college, you no longer have a life. The truth is, finding yourself at fifty blows. Avoid that.


2. The Drifter

This is the Mother who can't manage to carry on a two minute conversation because their child will harm themselves or do something that is traumatic or just plain wrong in her eyes. These moms should just avoid conversations all together for the first five years of their child's life. They should wear badges that say: "So sorry, can't talk now. I'll be drifting towards my child until Nov. 2014". Now we all do this to a certain degree, but some women are so much worse than others. The people who can't manage to talk on the phone without telling the person on the other end to hold on so they can tend to their offspring, those women fall in this category. There's good news though, anyone can immediately remove themselves from this category by doing one of two things: stop trying to have conversations with people who aren't currently drifters themselves or get a nanny.


3. My Husband is sooo Wonderful OR so Horrible Mom

Here's my take on this: Let's just leave him out of it. Yes, a lot of us are married, many of us to men and those men do all sorts of things, both good and bad. I know because I have a husband and really have little interest in hearing about yours (Oh how rude!). But hear me out, women do one of two things when talking about their husbands; They either rave about how wonderful he is, this makes me feel like I blew it when it came to choosing a husband or they complain about how lame he is, which makes me think they blew it when it came to choosing a husband. Either conversation is painful.

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